As of today, I've been in Germany for four months. This may be a little touchy feely and introspective.

The time as flown by, but at the same time, I feel like I'm so different from who I was when I first came here. When I think about my first weeks here they seem like years ago, like I'm somehow older now. It's a strange feeling, but I barely feel connected to the nerdy, awkward American who stepped off the plane here four months ago. I think back on my first days here, on getting hot chocolate with Simon and Gustavo when English was canceled, on Frau Rennert firing biographical questions at me while cackling and attempting to reassure me with near-shouts of 'keine Angst! keine Angst!', on taking bike rides through the city back when I still needed my map, and it feels like it was all a dream.

The thing that makes packing your life into a 44 pound suitcase and flying across the Atlantic Ocean so amazing is that NO ONE knows you who you are. You start a new life. No one knows if you were in NHS or in band. No one knows if you were valedictorian, or who your prom date was. No one knows about the awkward emo phase you had when you were thirteen, or that you used to like Fall Out Boy more than you'd ever admit. No one remembers your bad haircuts, your past relationships, or your circles of friends. You're not held back by social cliques or past associations. No one knows what a Gay-Straight Alliance is, and no one has ever heard of Dartmouth College. You are no longer defined by everything you've done from Kindergarten until now. In fact, your past accomplishments are vague and generally unimportant. You have a completely fresh start - you ARE who you show to people, and only that.

I spent my last few months in America making speeches, giving newspaper interviews, and meeting the President. I graduated from high school at the top of my class and was accepted to an Ivy League university. I couldn't go anywhere without hearing 'Congratulations!' And while it was all really nice and I appreciate every good thing that happened to me, it's kind of nice to just be anonymous.

Being in Germany is finally giving me a chance to relax a little and be a normal teenager - to stay out late, not worry about grades, and just have fun with my friends. I am finally doing things because I want to do them, not because it will look good on a college application. And honestly, it is so, so refreshing.

At the same time, as much as I love Germany and everyone that I've met here (and really, my host family is great and I couldn't have asked for a better group of friends - Dani, Linda, Ewa, Vanni, Yasmin, Olga, Anna, Chrissy, Theresa, Jana... Pati, Simon, Hans, Göthel, Löning, Rick, Henning - you've all welcomed me from the start and I don't think I could ever truly express my appreciation for each of you. You make me feel like I belong here.), I am also looking forward to my future, and to this summer. I'm excited to show Pati my hometown as I rediscover it myself. I want Summer's End. I want to stuff myself on Chana Masala and Naan at Shere Punjab, and then go see a movie at the Evening Star. I want to hug my parents. I want to bike Ridge Road with my dad, and have dinner at Pedros with the Wheelers. I want to go kayaking in Harpswell with Cassie. I want to go to Gelato and play ultimate frisbee. I'm excited to start college with a new perspective, and I'm excited to be a nerd again and to understand everything that's going on in my classes. I'm excited to join clubs and sports teams and get active and involved, reinvigorated and ready to make a difference.

I also have no idea what I want to do with my life once I graduate. Although I guess I have a couple of more years to figure that out.

But for now, I have six more months left to enjoy my life in Germany... being with people I love, eating Döner, watching Wer Wird Millionär with my host mom, drinking tea, walking with Bruno, riding my bicycle along the Spree, swimming, going to concerts, partying, and having fun. Although I'm still afraid of my chemistry teacher and I don't think I'm ever going to understand biology, that's okay. I now know that don't have to be good at everything. And that's good enough for me.

Dani